Wisdom

I need influence. I crave the advice and wisdom of someone who can see where I am and help point me in the right direction. It's why I like my father in law, and grandpa's. They have weathered storms I may never see, sucked up their courage in the face of dangers I cannot understand, and here they stand with a scar and a smile. I can see it in their wrinkles, and hear it in their voice as they shake their heads slowly at those of us less patient. They know many things I don't, and I want to learn from them. Books are great, but I'm not a self-made man nor do I desire to be. It is a fate worse than death you might say, to live alone with only your proud self to look back to as a champion and victor. I want to be able to point to those who have helped me along the way. To say I owe it all to God and my wife becomes trite. I was meant to be raised up by many hands and voices, not a book and a patient spouse. She needs the benefit of their wisdom in my life just as much as I do. I cannot count on her strength but must rely on God's alone. And how can I know his strength exists when life is tumbling and I'm confused? To look in the eyes of Job, is to know God is bigger, even when I don't understand.

I crave the company of Christian Men. Not guys who go to church, but men who know their God, who rest in their Lord when life becomes rough. Those that sneak out at dawn to pray. I can't go this alone. God never told me to go this alone. This isn't a 40 Day Fast somewhere... this is life. In life, I need the encouragement and council and camaraderie of Christian Men who have a few scars. We might look and sound a little rough, they might not want us in the foyer at church, but I want to be with those who know how to fight, but more than just fight how to live. How to dance, how to wrestle with God in the twilight. Who may not have the answers all the time, but will struggle through with me.